Religions Compared:

Taoism: @#$%! happens.
Cunfucianism: Confucius say, "@#$%! happens."
Buddhism: If @#$%! happens, it is not really @#$%!
Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of @#$%! happening?
Hinduism: This @#$%! happened before.
Islam: If @#$%! happens, it is the will of Allah.
Judaism: Why does this @#$%! always happen to us?
Shintoism: Everything except Japan is @#$%!
Sikhism: The Indian caste system is a bunch of @#$%!
Catholicism: @#$%! happens because you are bad.
Eastern Orthodox: Rome don't know @#$%!
Presbyterianism: Let @#$%! happen to someone else.
Lutheranism: If @#$%! happens, have faith and it will stop.
Anglicanism: Henry VIII didn't take no @#$%!
Pentecostalism: @#$%! happens in tongues.
7th day Adventism: @#$%! happens every day but Saturday.
Jehovah's Witness: Want to buy a subscription to our @#$%!?
Christian Science: If @#$%! happens, don't worry. It will go away on its own.
Jainism: @#$%! happens, but don't step in it.
Born Again: @#$%! happens, but I am saved.
Scientology: This @#$%! is expensive.
New Age: Crystal power counteracts @#$%!
Jesuitism: If @#$%! happens, and no one hears it, did it really make a sound?
Hare Krishna: @#$%! happens, Rama, Rama.
Satanism: @#$%! rules!!
Atheism: @#$%! happens, so God doesn't exist.
Agnosticism: Maybe @#$%! happens, and maybe it doesn't.
Stoicism: So @#$%! happens. Big deal! I can take it.
Hedonism: When @#$%! happens, enjoy it!
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke some @#$%!
Native American Church: We want our @#$%! back!!
RLDS: Brigham Young is full of @#$%!!
Mormonism: It's evil to say "@#$%!"